So many of my trauma clients report that, when they were growing up, they were told they were “too sensitive.”
Maybe they are still told that to this day. Is this really about the clients themselves? Maybe, to some extent. And we’ll explore that here. But, often, it is about who they are around. Do those other people really see things accurately?
First, let’s explore the people who are told they are supposedly “too sensitive.” Let’s look at the ways might they actually be more sensitive than others.
Sometimes, when someone is reactive, that is due to emotion regulation issues they may have (see blog post entitled, “Childhood Experiences: Emotions and the Brain” to see why that happens to people), at least in part. But, if there was also trauma present in their lives, and they have a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), clients might also be experiencing symptoms of PTSD.
People with PTSD can experience what we call hypervigilance, because trauma lives in the body and sends you reminders, consciously or unconsciously, all the time. People with PTSD are always paying extreme attention to everything around them. Their bodies are always prepared for the worst.
PTSD sufferers learned to do this, and while the trauma is actually going on, that is an adaptive and healthy response.
For so many people, even when the trauma is over, fight or flight is still activated almost all the time.
Sometimes, other, new circumstances in life call for it to be activated, and fight or flight is a good thing. But, many times, the circumstances just don’t warrant that level of attention, and the person with PTSD is amped up and worried about things that will not happen, which is not as adaptive or healthy for them. It makes life harder. Though, as we know, deep down, people in that situation are actually thinking about and feeling something else, consciously or unconsciously—something that did happen, in the past, something that changed their life for the worse.
But there is another factor to consider. Many times, clients with PTSD are responding correctly to a given, current situation, and they are just simply surrounded by people who do not have good emotion regulation themselves, or good judgment. Maybe the PTSD sufferer is even surrounded by people who caused that trauma in the first place—or allowed it to happen without doing anything to stop it.
In other words, PTSD sufferers often feel like they have to be ready for something bad to happen. Because they do.
People who go through traumas do become more empathic or sensitive.
We know this. But often, that sufferer is also currently dealing with people who truly cannot be trusted, people who cannot judge the situation correctly, people who do not protect them as they should, and people who may even harm the sufferer, emotionally, sexually, or physically.
So, yes: If you have PTSD, you and your body have become sensitized and sensitive. But you may also be the only one in the room who really knows what is going on, how bad it is, and how to protect yourself from it, when that is possible. You and your body may also be aware that you can’t fully protect yourself from it. But there are crisis centers throughout Illinois and Florida to help you.
And you don’t have to be the only one keeping that all to yourself. There are always people available to talk to about it. Always.
Share this story
Chrones Counseling uses therapy and the most innovative techniques and exercises, to enable you to calm your own nervous system, learn how to regulate your emotions, and create new and better ways of approaching and living life. Find information and tips here at our blog.
